So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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