Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
