how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize