this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
