I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
