I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
