I wish I could teleport
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
