sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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