You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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