I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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