Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
