I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
