I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
