I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
