I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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