So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
