so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize