you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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