please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
