i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As shirtless as possible
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
