dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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