I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
