God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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