i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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