You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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