so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
