Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
