i barfeds in our rink
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
