If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
