So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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