Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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