He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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