No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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