I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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