I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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