i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
