his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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