Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
