She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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