the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
