I'm drive I can fine osifer
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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