He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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