I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
