There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
