yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
