Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
