I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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