if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize