I love black thongs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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