WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
