i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
