I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
