So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
