Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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