You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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